Monday, April 21, 2014

The One with Potty Training

Fair Warning:
This blog contains the topics of poop and pee and all things gross. If you don't like gross stuff, go ahead and move about your business.   

How to Potty Train Twins:
1.) Get all the supplies you need:
     -lots and lots of undies. I would say 15-20 pairs if not more. (We say undies in our household because         the word "panties" is my most hated word of all time.)
     -at least 1 potty chair plus a potty seat to go on the toilet (because inevitably one child will want to go         potty while the other is going)
     -flushable potty wipes (not necessary, but helpful)
     -pull-ups 
     -carpet cleaner, laundry stain cleaner
     -unlimited patience

2.) Get a helper, and get on the same page as each other. Stick together and be consistent. 
-We waited for a 3 day weekend to do this new "potty training boot camp" technique, and it was really awesome! That way, hubby could help me on Monday as well. Here are the techniques of boot camp:
 a) No diapers. Ever. Say goodbye to them and never look back. Don't have any secret hidden ones for emergencies. Pull-ups are for sleeping only.
b) Let them wear only underwear.  This way, they can really feel if that have an accident.
c) constantly ask IF they have to go potty (versus taking them every few minutes). This ensures that they will be able to discern the urge to go independently without being reminded.
d) Constantly ask them, "Is your underwear dry?" so that they are learning to discern wet/dry and know the ultimate goal.
e) Give small rewards for attempts to potty, and larger rewards for potty successes. We did stickers for attempts, and a marshmallow for success!
f) Don't leave the house for these 3 days.


3.) Let the magic happen.
And by 'magic' I mean the utter destruction of your house, your patience, and everything you hold dear in life. Say goodbye to it all. Excited yet? (Don't worry, it will be worth it in the end!!!)

Here is what might happen to you:
Day 1:
Your kid will pee everywhere. All the time. A little bit here, a little bit there, as they have little to no self-awareness. Just change their clothes and remind them to pee in the potty and not in their undies.

Heck, your kid might even kindly save all of their poop for bath time  and yell, "Look! I'm swimming with meatballs, mommy!"  Or one twin might poop all over the floor while another brown-handed twin says, "Here sissy! I found your poop! Here you go!"  There might be a lot of hand washing.  Don't worry, it's just one day. It will be over soon. You can do this.

Day 2:
Your kid finally realizes that peeing all over themselves is overrated, and they decide to sit on the potty. ALL. DAY. LONG.  They have a false sense of urgency, and don't know quite how to save their pee for one larger evacuation. So they pee 1-3 drops every 2 minutes. Somehow this day is worse than yesterday. Maybe it's because you are so frazzled from scrubbing the carpet. Maybe it's because you stayed up late pre-treating Elmo underwear with stain remover. Maybe it's because you just softly wept over the loss of your Pottery Barn throw pillow. Maybe it's because the doorframe of your bathroom is brown and you're not entirely sure why. Probably it's the summation of all of the above. This is the day that you pray for patience.
You can do this. The end is near.

For both of my girls, the night of day 2, something clicked.
They asked to sit on the potty (for the zillionth time) and they peed. More than 3 drops. A real, giant pee. In a potty.
And the heavens rejoiced!!!
This is when you hug your child, and do a dance and squeal and celebrate because it has been the longest 48 hours of your life, but you finally have something to show for it!

Day 3:
This is the day of productivity. You are energized by the previous days' successes, and have a renewed sense of hope for your carpet and sanity.
My kids had no accidents. None. Once everything clicked and the lightbulb went off,  there were no  issues. It was amazing. My kids still sleep in pull-ups, but we will deal with that at a later time.

Hooray for no diapers!!!
Here's to hoping that I get back into the swing of blogging...love you guys!