The One Where I Choose Joy

As you have probably gathered, my days are pretty hectic. There are poopy days, sleepless days, barfy days, booger days, days where I'm a circus sideshow at the store yet nobody will help me. I always heard it was lonely being a stay at home mom. It's true. And you'll never really understand it until you've been there. Some days I have little adult interaction.  I talk in my mommy voice all day. I've developed embarrassing habits like watching The Today Show and wearing pajamas until almost noon.

Sometimes I have a pity party for myself when I see people with their big houses and big cars and nannies and housekeepers. I'm extremely jealous of friends that have their family live nearby.  It's an 8 hour round trip to see grandma here.  Our families can't pop over and be a part of my children's lives. We have to get friends to help watch the girls if we need a break. We've only gotten out of the house 4 times by ourselves since they were born. But there's something that keeps running through my mind that helps me get through the day. It was a big motto at the camp I worked at.

Comparison is the thief of joy. 

It really is. That statement can be applied to all stages of life. (I think teenage girls probably need to hear it the most!) Comparison is the thief of joy. You know what? I might live in this 1,000 square foot house for the next 5 years. I might drive a 4 door sedan till it breaks down. I will never afford to have a housekeeper or nanny or other fancy things.  And I'm finally genuinely okay with that.

What a refreshing feeling! Today I was sweeping the thousandth Cheerio off of the floor and I couldn't stop smiling. I love my life.

What an absolute joy my children are!  How thankful should I be that I am able to stay at home and raise them? I get to see them grow and develop and change into beautiful little girls. They are already nearing a year old. It has been the hardest year of my life, but it is truly rewarding. I have the tendency to get mopey and emo sometimes, but now I choose joy. I choose to smile while sweeping the thousandth Cheerio. I choose to laugh when I'm covered in barf. I choose to rock my baby back to sleep and sing her hymns when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I don't ever want my children to grow up with a distant mother, or especially to think that they were the cause of my emotional distress. They only get one mother.  I now consider it my greatest honor to raise these girls, and I want to be as much a blessing to them as they are to me.

Today I scrounged up some coins in my car and had an iced tea during happy hour at Sonic. The girls were in the backseat munching on some graham crackers. Simplicity. Then we got home rolled around on the ground playing with hand puppets and reading books. Yes, there was a poop explosion and some crying, but it was a perfect afternoon. I'm so thankful for this season in my life.


Some great verses I lean on:

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.   Hebrews 6:10


Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

So whether you eat or drink or [change 50 poopy diapers!] whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31